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13 definitions by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle

 
1.
A retard who cleans the bogs at Asda. These mentally-unfortunate individuals can often be seen fishing out unflushable Hill biscuits with a net and eating them for lunch.
What's David doing?

Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
od uživatele by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle 16. Květen 2009
 
2.
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.

South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 29. Květen 2009
 
3.
The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 01. Srpen 2009
 
4.
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels:

1 ugly

2 pug ugly

3 fugly

4 pug fugly

5 super pug fugly

6 scotch fugly
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 29. Červenec 2009
 
5.
A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 28. Červenec 2009
 
6.
The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.

Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 01. Srpen 2009
 
7.
Eggs.

Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.

The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?

No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.
od uživatele by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 31. Červenec 2009