A male condition commonly experienced in the early morning, making it self apparent as the said male is preparing his breakfast. Symptoms include swelling and chaffing, with common results being catching and banging certain afflicted members of the body against obstacles. Condition may worsen, causing endless sadist mirth in onlookers, such as the girlfriend, dad, acquaintances or (god no) grandmother of said tortured male. Their are only two known cures, with the only viable one being ice, as the other is impossible to implement due to stiffness of the knuckle and elbow joints in the hands and arms that is usually an issue at such an hour of the morning.
Billy: Oh no!
Unfortunate Onlooker: Holly fuck!
Billy: Not morning glory!
Unfortunate Onlooker: Ha ha! What a looser.
Billy: I suck!